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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2007 20:40:16 GMT 10
Ring ring... ring ring ... Click ... hello. Hello is this Reddo..... Yup thats me the English emassador for barnsley. Oh pip pip and jolly good old chap. Its MI5 , we have your new wheels ready for your collection. bloody bewdy mate , send it around. Oh i am afraid it is in need of some mechanical repairs. The last operator gave it a shockingly hard time. Oh really.. did he... what was this numbskulls name?? Eeeerrrr Bond sir... Mr James Bond.... Oh bloody great. the last car i got off that bonehead was full of bullet holes and there was a half naked dead blonde in the boot.  . Never mind load it on the carfloat and bring it around to the embassy. I will get Jeeves to vacumn up the blood and bog up the bullet holes again. Jolly good show old chap. we will dispatch your new tow car .. straight away.  Oh my god its a humber super snipe. Oh i say where is the maserati you promised me?? Let me check the calander... Nope .. it aint April fools day. Aaah well when you are getting two of them for free ......nix ......gratis .. i suppose i shouldnt complain aye jeeves  Bloody hell Mi5 ya could have give it a wash. It looks like it come out of a barn at Curlewis ( It did.. last registered 2002)  Oh thank god for that no dead bodys in the back seat.. in fact i doesnt even look like it has been bled on.... is that bullet proof glass??   Hmmm wander which knob is the ejector seat button Moneypenny???( for those born post 70s .. Miss Moneypenny was a bloody good looking sort in all the James Bond movies.)  Egads .. the engine looks like it has been through a desert storm!!! show me the operators manual G7, Hmmm it says here...1967 MKV A....Last of the snipes..No manual transmissions available in australia... Bugger.....Big twin SU carbs, cross flow head, power steer, disc brakes, 2 speed auto plus overdive , 15 inch radials, 16 gallon tank (71 litre). 6 seater with 4 retractable seat belts ( not bad for 1967) wood grain everything, 4 headlights, pushbutton radio .. OOOOO an looky looky a wine rack in the back of either side of the front seats.... Coooooollllll...... not sure how many litres but the 6 cylinder sure looks big enough to haul a vintage van... again cccccoooolllll Righto jeeves this just may be the ideal towcar for the old TD down the yard. How many weeks to Munmorah?? Do you think we can have the Humber S.S and the old '48 TD ready in time Jeeves?? Shall give it our best shot master Reddo.   Onya Jeevesy .. Put down that martini ( shacken not stirred folks ) Gimme a hand to shove it into the shed of invention before the spy helicopters catch on to what we are doing. Weeeelllll folks... will we see a Humber with a rat TD at Munmorah. Will "Odd job" clean up his mess. Will reddo "Score " with miss moneypenny??? Will Mi5 shout reddo a new battery to make the ejector seat work?  ? All these questions and more will be answered in the next episode of " James bond - humberball"  Stay tuned Redd- 007   Alias special agent dribbler from the east coast....Motto is: Have froth...... will dribble Vintage caravans, vintage caravans, vintage caravans |
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Post by wildmanaus on Apr 9, 2007 20:49:48 GMT 10
Hello Reddo
I do remeber the old bond movies i have all 21 even though the latest is nowere as good as the other one expeshly Sean ones and the car looks great and it has your faverote in it wood
Wildmanaus
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Post by cobber on Apr 10, 2007 8:05:24 GMT 10
well done 'arold,
don't know how ya managed to get 'em for nuffin all we needs one of them shofars and won't we look the ants pants sitten in the back drivin round the town youl have ta pull ya socks up and learn to talk proper to do any good with this miss moneypenny ya dreamin bout though
does it go
arthur
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Post by wildmanaus on Apr 10, 2007 20:15:52 GMT 10
That looks like the car out of goldfinger
Is it made of gold you will have to look into it reddo
wildmanaus
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Post by 313royal on Apr 10, 2007 20:59:43 GMT 10
What a catch Reddo, love the woodwork the Brits had a thing for back then, not too good in our climate but
Did you say two ? I saw one at Christmas at Halls Gap begging for attention if anybody is interested, sure would make a great tow car with period van
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Post by Don Ricardo on Apr 11, 2007 8:50:36 GMT 10
Hey Reddo,
Nice vehicles!!
Brings back lots of memories for me. My parents had a 1961 Super Snipe Mark III (the first model with the twin headlights but no picnic tables for the back seat passengers, regrettably). I learnt a lot of my driving skills on that car - like how to break a fan belt out in the middle of nowhere when you're trying to hit the ton (100 mph in those days); how to be T-boned by a taxi truck which has its left indicator on then goes straight through the intersection. That sort of thing. (Both the car and I survived the T-boning - shows how strong the Humbers were.)
I assume the gearboxes on the Mark V are the same as the Mark III (can't quite tell from the photo of the dashboard). If so, here is a little test for you: How do you hold the car in low gear for descending hills when towing, etc?? We had the car for 8 years before we worked it out. (No doubt it was in the manual, but who reads manuals? It's un-Australian and un-masculine!!) If a manual came with one of your cars, you're not allowed to look it up before answering.
Anyway looking forward to seeing one or both of your machines returned to their former glory.
Don Ricardo
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2007 14:01:06 GMT 10
Hi Don Dont wait for me to report i have stacked the humber going down a moountain. Please tel me how tolock her in low. Oh bye the way the car is a MK-Va 1967 last of the breed and the only year of the 3 speed auto. Have found corroded water jacket and a flat n70zz battery which looks to be in good condition but wont take a charge. Thats proobably to be expected . The car hasnt run since July 2003. have been over evrything else and all looks cool. wont know what the engines like until i get it fired up. Still dont know what ia going to do with 2 cars plus a spare motor and gearbox. Price jumped from "Free" to $10.00 last night. I caught up with the bloke thats bringing them down from his dads farm. I shouted him 3 schooners at the local pub last night. Will probably do the same the next 10 times we bump into each other ;D Cobb...errr.../ Arthur steptoe... No i havent got it running yet. but the cattledog has "hosed' all 4 wheels for me. Reddo |
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Post by Don Ricardo on Apr 12, 2007 21:54:01 GMT 10
Hmmm...I've noted your comment about the three speed gearbox, Reddo, and I've also found by googling that the gearbox on the Series V A was lighter, etc, so maybe the following info doesn't apply to your cars...
Nevertheless for what it may or may not be worth, the answer to the test question is... (drum roll)...to keep the car in low/first gear, push the gear lever horizontally towards the dashboard. When you wish to resume normal operation in drive, pull the gear lever horizontally towards you.
Perhaps this mechanism was standard for British cars and/or Borg Warner gearboxes of the day, but I have never encountered it on another vehicle. I discovered it by chance one day as a 19 year old, and had so much fun I went through almost a full tank of petrol in about 70 kms (without exaggeration)!
Let me know if the same mechanism applied to the Series V A.
Don Ricardo
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Post by tinnie on Apr 16, 2007 22:37:27 GMT 10
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Post by chippydave01 on Apr 18, 2007 16:21:34 GMT 10
Hey Reddo I know a perfect van for sale to go with your Humber.
Its one of them great aluminium jobs that you love .Its a 1968 16ft escort and its not to far from your place give us a call or pm if ya interested.
Cheers Dave
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2007 20:28:28 GMT 10
Hey chippy.. "Its one of them great aluminium jobs that you love"  Hmmmmmmmpppphhhhh ... and i thought we where mates now that you have a bondwood . keep those sorta suggestions coming at me and i will cancel your Royal Society for Bondwood Preservation membership. I dont give a rats bum if the thing was next door to my place.and it waz fa free . aluminium cans are for fillin with beer and 12ft fishin boats... nothing else Now wake up to yaself you, you, you ... tincanhead you. You just wait till i get that Humb...eeerrr" 007 special goin'. if i see ya walkin down the road i'm gunna cut ya down with it. Aluminium... fibreglass... Bloody "Criptonite" in my language Bondwood rools OK!!! A cranky Glennn..nnn.nn..n |
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2007 7:54:28 GMT 10
So..... there i was . down the "Yard of desicration". workining on a fuel leak on the old 007 Humbermobile. I promised the new owner that i would cure the fuel leak before they travel up to collect it. "Matailda Splinters" was parked beside the humber under the carport watchin on contently while i performed surgery... I had a few spanners out, air cleaner off, Put the battery lead back on the positive terminal of the battery. Climbed in behind the wheel and wound her over. Cough,..... splutter, ......chug,chug........bbbrrrrmmmmm, bbbbrrrrmmmmm Bewdy mate .. shes runnin . Climb back out and wander around the front just in time to see raw fuel poring out the back of the second carb . I hot footed it back to the drivers side door. just as i reached in for the ignition switch the Humber gave a sneeze and the whole shootin match was on fire under the bonnet. The fuel that was spilt on the ground under the car had ignited as well so i had flames about 6ft high licking up the bonnet and out towards the front. A quick sprint up the yard to the shed of invention. grab a small powder extinguisher and yell out to the missus to "ring the brigade.. car fire". Got back to the car and emptied the entire contents on the carbs and the right side of the motor. result... fire completely out in the engine bay... but the fuel under the car was still burning... which in turn reignited the fuel in the back carb Completely forgetting the second extinguisher in the ute and knowing i shouldnt use water on a fuel fire. i shot over the pool fence and grabbed the garden hose. flew back to the car and doused the fire with water. Didnt think i had a hope in hell of putting it out and honestly had visions of matilda getting fried as well. After everything had settled down i checked out the damage. Melted oil line to oil pressure gauge and melted 2 wires to heater, blackened bonnet with a blistered paint area the size of a dinner plate. Burnt patch of grass under the car about 4ft round... no other damage besides the powder mess from the extinguisher. I am gunna give up this double agent stuff.. too bloody dangerous. Looks like the slide in the back carb is sticking up or maybe the diaphram is buggered. .. We will be winching it onto the trailer. aint no way i am starting the bloody thing up again. Meanwhile i have gotta go down the yard and tell "Matilada" to stop rollin around the yard laughing at me  Fire fighter.. I know i shouldnt have used the hose .. but in this case it worked.. and Oh bye the way. The missus never heard me callin for the brigade . Son joel did. By the time he got to the phone i had the fire out and told him dont bother making the call. Reddo - fire chief |
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Post by Don Ricardo on May 14, 2007 8:23:34 GMT 10
Reddo, Reddo, Reddo...
You forgot to use the electronic fire extinguisher in your watch...
What's the use of Q developing all these gadgets if you don't use them? Eh?
M
;D ;D ;D
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Post by will and lyn on May 14, 2007 9:24:08 GMT 10
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2007 9:24:22 GMT 10
Col My agent says Front row seats are fetching up to $100 with the scalpers at the gate. I am gunna havta charge extra for the next floor show as i am engaging the services of the NSW fire brigade just in case things get out of hand again. Dunno why you would want a front row seat when there is a 1000 degree furnace operating a few paces away Had thought about inviting an old hand from W.A over to assist in the act.. Wills mums partner ( Propane Pete?? i think they call him) is an old hand at torching caravans ( R.I.P Elvis) perhaps he could turn his hand to Humbers as an added attraction at the next "Yard of Cremation floor show" Don I had a third phase contingency plan if the garden hose didnt work. I was gunna use the hose that hangs from the lower part my belly... although this choice has been used before and with age the pressure has deminished ;D and the smell can be quite pungent Meanwhile i have been on the phone to "Q" at the secret dubble nuthin special agent headquarters- 176 Fotherington Cres London..... ooooops they made me promised i wouldnt say that......and we are installing a "heat sensitive self deployment foaming agent system under the bonnet". details are sketchy at the moment but from what Q had to say on the shoe phone this morning its basically 48 cans of shave cream lashed to the inner gaurds with a "pull cord "attached to the choke cable . Now if you will excuse me i have to go and wipe the dog poo out of my ear... seems i have stood in something just before i answered my shoe phone this morning  . Redd007 |
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Post by firefighter on May 14, 2007 9:26:51 GMT 10
Reddo the fire chief proud of your efforts pm your address and I will send up your bravery certificate & badge and clean jocks , ;D same old story have the right ext and size near where you are working, yes size does matter ;D ;D ;D next time could you get all this action on video , so we can all see you sh#ting you self ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D I was in bendigo at the weekend went to the trash & treasure , bought a car book from 1961 there is a ad in it , HUMBER like yours (no sign of fire in this one ) towing a 23 ft FRANKLIN van F/F ;D ;D
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Post by krisbee on May 14, 2007 9:58:20 GMT 10
Hi Reddo, or is that nearly Blacko ;D ;D Glad to hear that you 'n Matilda are both OK.Just a question though, do I remember correctly that your job description mentions the word 'SAFETY'.Come on, fess up, this was just a practise run for your next O.H.S. how not to Fillum Show, wasn't it.
Kris.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2007 11:00:03 GMT 10
Sorry I am trouble hearing you..... Still got a bit of doggy doo to get out of my ear. F/F Geoff. I have 2 X 1kg dry powder extingushers in the shed .. weeellll one now. I have anothery in the ute as well. Also have fully charged 9 litre water in the shed. Some of you know i live on a long block of land and the carport where matilda lives and the Humber is boarding in is about 20 metres from the door of the shed. The carport is not the normal Fixer upper area. just a carport not a workshop. so no extinguisher down the back yard. As our block backs onto a creek and thick bushland that hasnt seen a good burn off for 20 years or more I have a garden hose that reaches the back fence and beyond by about 5 metres . Using the hose was the next best option under the circumstances. to sprint on aging legs back to the shed for a second 1kg extinguisher would have been the difference between saving the Humber and losing the lot ... possibly including the shed behind the big shed which has old pommy bikes that are all full of fuel. The fire would have had plenty to keep itself fed on. Having used larger extinguishers in training sessions and seeing just how little the smaller extinguishers have to offer in the event of a fuel fire i feel that the little extinguishers are virtually useless in cars. Obviously the issue of storage dictates that we only use small extinguishers in cars. maybe 2 or even 3 or one large ext stored in the boot would be a better alternative I digress.... Although we have had a giggle here about my episode on the weekend it is well worth applying the scenario to our old wooden, fibreglass and alloy vans. Wellllllllllllllll maybe not the f/g or tin ones ..... but definitely need to preserve and protect those presious wooden ones eh??? just my totally unbiased opinion. My advice is to save your bickies and by a 4.5KG powder extinguisher. a fire blanket and a smoke detector for our pride and joy vintage vans. Even if ya cook outside the potential for a disaster is everpresent. The other scarey thought is we only have one door to escape through in the event of a fire. KB2 May i remind you that even though i am a safety officer I am not superman, i am still made of flesh and blood and therefore combustible just like you and everyone else. Have had 3rd degree burns to both hands where i dragged a mate who tripped on a log out of a campfire one weekend. Dont want to exprience that sort of pain and suffering again. he was wearing a woolen army great coat and never got a burn on him. I got 5 hours at the hospital. both hands debridled and had an extremely hard time when it come to using a knife and fork or wiping ones posterior with both hands bandaged for the next few months... lets not go there. Now if you will excuse me i am going back to hose out my Levis ;D Redd-"000" |
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Post by krisbee on May 14, 2007 16:18:17 GMT 10
Hey Reddo, I didn't mean to say that you were unprepared, it just shows that even with all the safety gear in place, things happen so quickly that you have to have the procedures ingrained, you won't have time to sit and think about what to do. Good point about the extinguishers, we have one mounted next to the sink in our bondwood, and our vehicles always have one, but I might add the fireblanket to the van. Cheers,KB1 |
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Post by wildmanaus on May 30, 2007 19:29:00 GMT 10
Hello Reddo
So after the fir did the bloke come and get it and i thought you got two
Wildman
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Post by tinnie on May 30, 2007 21:23:10 GMT 10
Reddo - even Google are tryin to tell ya sumthin - three of their adds at the top of page ad banner are for Fire Safety Equipment ;D ;D
Tinnie ;D
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2007 7:09:37 GMT 10
Hi Wildy A bloke from Orange won the car at ebay auction. After a couple of false starts, Its heading home ( hopefully) this saturday behind a range rover. Trailer has electric brakes.. car doesnt. Gunna be an interesting day out for old mate towing it home. I just want it gone. No sign of the second car yet. havent seen the bloke who dropped the first one off for about 3 weeks. There is a swap meet on later this year up where it came from . might get the address and drag it home myself while i am at the swap........ Then again i dont really want another flaming "Humber fireball ". Meanwhile i have the bright red inconspicuos Morry Minor as the new "Double nothing secret agent spy car".Its all ready red so... shouldnt be as hard to make it catch alight. Redd007 |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2007 11:03:06 GMT 10
Hmmm....... Just realised if ya shuffle the Humbers letters around ya almost get "Bummers"Likewise if ya juggle Morry Minor around and throw in an "E or 2" ya get "Sorry Mess" or " Is no More Mine" You will hear the wine and champers corks popping as the humber dissapears out of the neighbourhood nextmorrowday arvo. Not really a bad car. No worse than anything else that is in a poor state of tune with airleaks on the carbs or intake manifold. Meanwhile the fine tuning goes on under the bonnet of the Eddy yoot. I think i am getting around 8hp at the back wheels... just enough to drag the skin of mums deseased custard. ;D Reddo - special dubble nuthin agent ... Have cab fare will travel. |
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