Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2009 16:39:01 GMT 10
Hidey Ho there Vintage Vanophiles....
Swapmeet this Sunday at Maitland... A chance to throw off the mundane domestic shackles and do a bit of male retail therapy around the junk mounds
So .. as usual i toddle off down to .
and rat through the selves lookin for old shiiiiiii......
... ummm quality collectibles i think they call em .. to take along .
Rummage, rumage, ... blow the dust off this and that......
Reach up the back shelf ......up behind the secret stash of black label XXXX porn magazines
..... Hmmmmm whats this???......
Well i'll be buggered .... Look Bill ( he's my shed assistant and night watchman.....also doubles as a 13 year old deaf, dumb , toothless, overweight and blind cattledog..)
Have a go at this old mate... Its the.." Reddotel Wood-o-Matic Timber Radar .. with added crystals and valves to pick up bondwood within a 100k radius of Reddotel International HQ"
CRIKEYS BILL...
how long has it been since we plugged this in. Have a look at that black and white chequered jug cord i patched onto it after the rats chewed through it back in 2007.
Hang on while i dust it off.. grab 2 stubbys outta the beer fridge Bill and we will give it a whirl for old times sake aye Shirl.
"woof woof Reddo".. even Bills excited .. "woof , woof, woof.snarl, snarl..... oooh ya just want a beer and ya dont give a rats about the wood-o-matic
Bloody houndoholic 
He we go.. found a power point....."click"......
Hang onto your haggots bill anything could happen...
"HHHHHHhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..
Ccccccccccccccccccccrraacccckkkkkkklllleeeee
Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzz...
Just gotta shift the Coathanger arial up the clothesline a bit and adjust the horizontal hold there old Billyhound.....
Roll
Roll
Roll
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh thats it . Bloody bewdy mate... looky .. we have the radar screen up .. black spot top left quadrent... must be a blown valve ??.. hang on ... no... its just pigeon poop on the screen.... rub, rub... aaaaaaaa thats clearer
Shes up and resonating.....
Now.... lllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttssss seeeeeeeee. engage clutch on pedal assist... release handbrake start pedalling.... 'Blip. Blip. Blip"... wooooo whoooooooooo... unbldybelevbl!!!
...
The transducer is saying there is a large timber object about 10,000 K's North of here....... .. Wait a minute.. thats mount Siani.. oh drat its just that bloody ark thing again 
Wish someone would go down there and clean that bloody mess up.....Arks are a god damn eye sore.. The bloody council should make Noah clean up his act and get it off the footpath.
Lets narrow the tangental parabolic reddofunctional parameters sine wave and see whats on offer on the east coast.
"Burp" ...... oh for gods sake Bill.. wheres ya manners...
"Blap, blap, blap.. " Holey portholes Bill... have a go at that......
nup, nup... its galvaqnised iron...
Try again...
"Clack, Clack... ooo bugga the chain has fallen off... ..Bloody cheap Jappo 10 speed shimano gears and deraliers... this is embarassing... and right in the middle of a story too...
Should have stuck with the old Sturmey Archer 3 speed hub gears..
Plan B.. Insert crank handle through side..
swing the handle vigoriouoi... viagra... viger.. vicka..... ummm.. flat out ..
yup, yup.. ya doin good Bill....thats it 2500 RPM .. keep goin Bill..
"Bling, Bling, Bling....
Alrighty then... we are getting a reading....But wait.. whats this?
It must be massive...... a giant red "Blotch" at co-ordinates 23deg east by 112 degrees south ...........
Jeeves .. Jeeves ... come quick. Ready the pack mules and double axle dray. We just have to get an expedition up and on the road by 6.00am tomorrow. We will ride like winged arrows .. straight and true .. to "the Red Blotch".
"But reddo sir... There is a lake between us and our objective??
"Ooooooo Bugga.. your right Jeevsey... Better take the Chev, Carfloat and head down the F3 expressway 
;D
WWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL
FFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSS....
What has our intrepid trio unearthed this time
Tune in next time when ya hear Reddo say..
"Jeevesy you bonehead .. i thought i told you to fill the bloody car with petrol before we left..... now get out and push us up this hill !!... Phew ... smells like Lucky dog dinner.. Bill..... did you fart ??
Its the last time i am taking you pair "
Oh bye the way.. Ya can stop crankin' the handle for today Bill. We are finished now....
"Phew...... ritz arout rime reddo ..rhy roz ready roo rexplode!!"
...................................
Swapmeet this Sunday at Maitland... A chance to throw off the mundane domestic shackles and do a bit of male retail therapy around the junk mounds
So .. as usual i toddle off down to .
and rat through the selves lookin for old shiiiiiii......
... ummm quality collectibles i think they call em .. to take along .Rummage, rumage, ... blow the dust off this and that......
Reach up the back shelf ......up behind the secret stash of black label XXXX porn magazines
..... Hmmmmm whats this???......Well i'll be buggered .... Look Bill ( he's my shed assistant and night watchman.....also doubles as a 13 year old deaf, dumb , toothless, overweight and blind cattledog..)
Have a go at this old mate... Its the.." Reddotel Wood-o-Matic Timber Radar .. with added crystals and valves to pick up bondwood within a 100k radius of Reddotel International HQ"
CRIKEYS BILL...
how long has it been since we plugged this in. Have a look at that black and white chequered jug cord i patched onto it after the rats chewed through it back in 2007.Hang on while i dust it off.. grab 2 stubbys outta the beer fridge Bill and we will give it a whirl for old times sake aye Shirl.
"woof woof Reddo".. even Bills excited .. "woof , woof, woof.snarl, snarl..... oooh ya just want a beer and ya dont give a rats about the wood-o-matic
Bloody houndoholic
He we go.. found a power point....."click"......
Hang onto your haggots bill anything could happen...
"HHHHHHhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..
Ccccccccccccccccccccrraacccckkkkkkklllleeeee
Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzz...
Just gotta shift the Coathanger arial up the clothesline a bit and adjust the horizontal hold there old Billyhound.....
Roll
Roll
Roll
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh thats it . Bloody bewdy mate... looky .. we have the radar screen up .. black spot top left quadrent... must be a blown valve ??.. hang on ... no... its just pigeon poop on the screen.... rub, rub... aaaaaaaa thats clearer
Shes up and resonating.....
Now.... lllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttssss seeeeeeeee. engage clutch on pedal assist... release handbrake start pedalling.... 'Blip. Blip. Blip"... wooooo whoooooooooo... unbldybelevbl!!!
...
The transducer is saying there is a large timber object about 10,000 K's North of here.......
.. Wait a minute.. thats mount Siani.. oh drat its just that bloody ark thing again 
Wish someone would go down there and clean that bloody mess up.....Arks are a god damn eye sore.. The bloody council should make Noah clean up his act and get it off the footpath.
Lets narrow the tangental parabolic reddofunctional parameters sine wave and see whats on offer on the east coast.
"Burp" ...... oh for gods sake Bill.. wheres ya manners...
"Blap, blap, blap.. " Holey portholes Bill... have a go at that......
nup, nup... its galvaqnised iron...
Try again...
"Clack, Clack... ooo bugga the chain has fallen off... ..Bloody cheap Jappo 10 speed shimano gears and deraliers...
this is embarassing... and right in the middle of a story too...Should have stuck with the old Sturmey Archer 3 speed hub gears..
Plan B.. Insert crank handle through side..
swing the handle vigoriouoi... viagra... viger.. vicka...
.. ummm.. flat out ..yup, yup.. ya doin good Bill....thats it 2500 RPM .. keep goin Bill..
"Bling, Bling, Bling....
Alrighty then... we are getting a reading....But wait.. whats this?
It must be massive...... a giant red "Blotch" at co-ordinates 23deg east by 112 degrees south .....
......Jeeves .. Jeeves ... come quick. Ready the pack mules and double axle dray. We just have to get an expedition up and on the road by 6.00am tomorrow. We will ride like winged arrows .. straight and true .. to "the Red Blotch".
"But reddo sir... There is a lake between us and our objective??
"Ooooooo Bugga.. your right Jeevsey... Better take the Chev, Carfloat and head down the F3 expressway
;DWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL
FFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSS....
What has our intrepid trio unearthed this time
Tune in next time when ya hear Reddo say..
"Jeevesy you bonehead .. i thought i told you to fill the bloody car with petrol before we left...
.. now get out and push us up this hill !!... Phew ... smells like Lucky dog dinner.. Bill..... did you fart ??Its the last time i am taking you pair "
Oh bye the way.. Ya can stop crankin' the handle for today Bill. We are finished now....
"Phew...... ritz arout rime reddo ..rhy roz ready roo rexplode!!"
...................................
